Feedback is a powerful tool in any leaders toolkit, but its also one of the most challenging to get rightespecially for tech managers transitioning from individual contributors to people leaders. The awkwardness of offering constructive criticism, coupled with the risk of hurting morale or triggering defensiveness, can make feedback conversations feel like minefields.

Yet, with the right approach, delivering feedback can become a catalyst for professional development and stronger team dynamics. This article explores actionable strategies for giving feedback to engineers that lands well, sparks meaningful change, and strengthens relationships.

Understand the Purpose of Feedback

Before diving into techniques, its crucial to clarify why youre offering feedback. Effective feedback isnt about fault-finding or exercising authority; its about supporting growth and improving outcomes. When you frame feedback as a collaborative effort to help someone succeed, it sets a positive tone from the start.

Use the Kind, Clear, Actionable Framework

One widely respected method for impactful feedback focuses on three pillars:

• Kindness: Deliver feedback with genuine care and respect to protect rapport.
• Clarity: Be precise and avoid vague or ambiguous descriptions.
• Actionability: Provide concrete suggestions or next steps instead of just pointing out problems.

For example, instead of saying, “Your code reviews are too harsh,” try: “I’ve noticed your code reviews focus heavily on minor style points. To help the team improve faster, try emphasizing bugs or architectural issues first. This approach can foster better learning and morale.” This feedback is respectful, provides focused clarity, and suggests a clear adjustment.

Separate the Work from the Person

Always ensure your feedback targets behaviors or outputs, not personal traits. Avoid labels like “lazy” or “careless” and instead describe specific actions or outcomes. For instance, “The last two sprints had several missed deadlines” is far better than “Youre not reliable.” This reduces emotional reactions and helps recipients understand the issue without feeling personally attacked.

Balance Positive and Developmental Feedback

Engineers generally respond best when praise is balanced with improvement guidance. Starting with specific compliments acknowledges strengths before addressing areas for growth. For example:

“Your implementation of the new feature was clean and well-documented. To enhance it further, consider adding more unit tests to improve coverage.”

This approach keeps motivation high and prevents feedback from feeling like a reprimand.

Make Feedback a Two-Way Conversation

Feedback should never be monologues. Encourage dialogue by asking open-ended questions like, “How do you feel about your recent project performance?” or “What challenges are you facing with this task?” Engaging the engineer in discussion helps build trust and often surfaces obstacles you might not have been aware of.

Timing Matters

Deliver feedback close to the relevant event to keep it fresh and actionable. Waiting too long risks losing context and diluting impact. However, choose appropriate moments to ensure privacy and minimize distractionsfeedback given in a rushed or public setting can backfire.

Prepare for Defensive Responses

Its natural for people to feel defensive, especially when feedback touches on sensitive areas. When this happens, stay calm, listen actively, and avoid escalating. Validate feelings without conceding on facts. For example, “I understand this is unexpected, and my intention is to support your growth.” This creates space for reflection rather than conflict.

Follow Up with Support

Feedback should spark action, not just reflection. Work with your team members to set clear goals or development plans based on the discussion. Check in regularly to acknowledge progress and adjust course. This ongoing support shows commitment to their success and makes feedback feel like part of a broader coaching relationship.

Differentiate Feedback for Upward, Peer, and Downward Relationships

Giving feedback isnt one-size-fits-all. Whether youre speaking to your manager, peers, or direct reports, adapt your tone and approach:

• Upward feedback: Be respectful, concise, and focused on observable behaviors.
• Peer feedback: Emphasize collaboration and mutual improvement.
• Downward feedback: Prioritize clarity, growth orientation, and encouragement.

Understanding these nuances helps maintain healthy working relationships at all levels.

Leverage Tools and Resources to Enhance Your Feedback Skills

Consider training programs like LinkedIn Learnings Feedback for Tech Leaders or books such as Radical Candor by Kim Scott. These resources offer valuable frameworks and language to refine your delivery.

Additionally, keep documentation of key feedback discussions to track progress and maintain accountability. Tools like Notion or 15Five can facilitate this process.

Ultimately, delivering feedback is an evolving skill that requires empathy, practice, and genuine intention. By adopting a thoughtful, structured approach, you empower your engineering team to grow, innovate, and collaborate more effectively.