In the fast-paced world of technology teams, the weekly or biweekly 1:1 meeting is often relegated to a status update or an afterthought squeezed into a packed calendar. But when led well, 1:1s are invaluable for nurturing growth, spotting issues before they escalate, and building authentic rapport between managers and engineers.

Heres how engineering managers can reform their approach to 1:1s and ensure these conversations become more than just routine tasks.

1. Shift Your Perspective: From Status Checks to Development Dialogues

Too many 1:1s revolve around “What are you working on?” and “Any blockers?” While these questions have their place, the bigger opportunity lies in creating space for engineers to:

• Reflect on their career goals and growth areas
• Express frustrations or concerns without fear
• Brainstorm solutions and new challenges
• Receive thoughtful coaching and feedback

To do this, set an agenda with open-ended prompts that encourage reflection and two-way discussion. Examples include “What would you like more support with?” or “What are you excited or worried about lately?”

2. Prepare Thoughtfully Both Sides Have a Role

Successful 1:1s arent fully spontaneous. Both managers and individual contributors should come prepared with topics, questions, and reflections. As a manager:

• Review recent work, feedback, and any patterns of behavior
• Note observations on strengths and areas to develop
• Prepare questions that foster curiosity rather than interrogation

Encourage your reports to journal thoughts beforehand, especially about challenges they find hard to raise in team meetings.

3. Spot Burnout and Disengagement Early

One-on-ones provide a rare window into an individuals mental state and motivation. Pay attention to cues such as:

• Reduced enthusiasm when discussing projects
• Increased silence or vagueness about work status
• Repeated mentions of stress, frustration, or hindered creativity

If you notice these signs, ask gentle questions to uncover root causes. Sometimes just validating their feelings and adjusting workloads or expectations can make a big difference.

4. Create a Safe Space With Trust and Confidentiality

Engineers need to feel certain that their honest feedback or vulnerability wont be weaponized or lead to retaliation. You can build this by:

• Maintaining confidentiality on sensitive topics
• Consistently responding with empathy rather than judgment
• Following up on prior discussions, showing you listen and care

Trust doesnt emerge overnight, but persistent care builds it over time.

5. Balance Career Development and Immediate Team Needs

While tactical issues sometimes dominate 1:1s, dont neglect longer-term growth conversations. Inquire about their aspirations, what skills they want to build, and potential stretch projects they find interesting. These talks can help retain top talent by showing youre invested beyond the sprint cycle.

6. Use a Flexible but Consistent Structure

Structure your 1:1s enough to cover important areas but keep room for organic conversation. A sample cadence might be:

• Check-in: How are you feeling personally and professionally?
• Highlights/Lowlights: What went well? Any blockers?
• Development: Skills, goals, coaching requests
• Feedback exchange: Give and receive constructive feedback
• Closing: Agree on next steps or support needed

Adjust this format to each engineers style and current circumstances.

7. Document and Follow Up

Taking brief notes during or immediately after the meeting helps track progress and commitments without policing attendance or micromanaging. Share action items clearly and revisit them in subsequent 1:1s to demonstrate accountability.

8. Avoid Common Pitfalls

• Dont make it a one-way conversation: Engage actively and listen deeply.
• Resist turning 1:1s into status meetings: Use other forums for detailed project updates.
• Dont skip them, even when busy: Consistency signals commitment and care.
• Avoid rigid agendas that feel performative: Be authentic and adapt.

9. Cultivate Your Own Skills to Facilitate Growth

Managers should invest time improving their active listening, empathy, and coaching skills to maximize the impact of 1:1s. This investment pays dividends as your team feels genuinely supported and motivated.

Ultimately, the magic of 1:1 meetings lies in turning scheduled time into meaningful conversations that advance individual and team success. Focus on building trust, sharing vulnerability, and nurturing growth to transform these sessions into your leadership superpower.